One day, Jack says to Mike 'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd
> better see a doctor!'
>
> 'Listen mate. Don't waste your time down at the surgery,' Mike
> replies. 'There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a
> urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to
> do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot
> quicker and better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points'.
>
> So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
> He puts in a fiver and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
> sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
>
> Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis
> elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavyactivity. It will
> improve in two weeks'.
>
> That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
> began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
>
> He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
> from his wife and daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture
> for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what
> would happen, he poured in his concoction, and awaited the results
> with a grin. The computer prints the following:
>
> 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
>
> 2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
>
> 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
>
> 4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
>
> 5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
> get better....
>
> Thank you for shopping at Tesco
> better see a doctor!'
>
> 'Listen mate. Don't waste your time down at the surgery,' Mike
> replies. 'There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a
> urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to
> do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot
> quicker and better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points'.
>
> So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
> He puts in a fiver and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
> sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
>
> Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis
> elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavyactivity. It will
> improve in two weeks'.
>
> That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
> began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
>
> He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
> from his wife and daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture
> for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what
> would happen, he poured in his concoction, and awaited the results
> with a grin. The computer prints the following:
>
> 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
>
> 2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
>
> 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
>
> 4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
>
> 5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
> get better....
>
> Thank you for shopping at Tesco
