keith dublin
Member Number 161Full ISDC Members 2015
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy odered a whiskey.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.He replied in
disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my
lips!'Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didnt know we had a
choice!'
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Paddy
calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are
flying with you?'Paddy replies 'I dont know! Its your
plane!!'
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Paddy
& Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy 'Im gonna
have the day off, Im gonna prtend Im mad!'He climbs up the rafters ,
hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!' Murphy
watches in amazement!The Foreman shouts 'Paddy you're mad, go home' So
he leaves the site.Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as
well.'Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman.'I cant work in
the friggin dark! ' says Murphy.
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Paddy
takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies
on the bed spreadeagled & says 'You know what I want dont you?''Yeah,'
says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of
it!'
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Paddy
the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not
servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was
a death
trap!
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Entrepreneur of the year
Young Paddy, moved to Roscommon and bought a Donkey from a farmer for
â,¬100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next
day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad
news, the donkey died.' Paddy replied, 'Well, then just give me my money
back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Paddy said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked,
'What are ya gonna do with him? Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him
off.' The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!' Paddy said,
'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.' A month
later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with that
dead donkey?' Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two
euro's a piece and made a profit of â,¬898.00.' The farmer said, 'Didn't
anyone complain?' Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his
two euro's back.' Paddy now works for the Irish Government
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.He replied in
disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my
lips!'Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didnt know we had a
choice!'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy
calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are
flying with you?'Paddy replies 'I dont know! Its your
plane!!'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy
& Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy 'Im gonna
have the day off, Im gonna prtend Im mad!'He climbs up the rafters ,
hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!' Murphy
watches in amazement!The Foreman shouts 'Paddy you're mad, go home' So
he leaves the site.Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as
well.'Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman.'I cant work in
the friggin dark! ' says Murphy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy
takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies
on the bed spreadeagled & says 'You know what I want dont you?''Yeah,'
says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of
it!'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy
the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not
servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was
a death
trap!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Entrepreneur of the year
Young Paddy, moved to Roscommon and bought a Donkey from a farmer for
â,¬100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next
day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad
news, the donkey died.' Paddy replied, 'Well, then just give me my money
back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Paddy said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked,
'What are ya gonna do with him? Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him
off.' The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!' Paddy said,
'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.' A month
later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with that
dead donkey?' Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two
euro's a piece and made a profit of â,¬898.00.' The farmer said, 'Didn't
anyone complain?' Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his
two euro's back.' Paddy now works for the Irish Government
