Just thought i d post a few jokes from this weeks ZOO magazine , since the whole country is in doom and gloom mode 
A pair of glasses walks into a bar , and orders a pint. The barman say , " I m not serving you. You ,re off your face ."
Whats 13in, silver and the worst thing you can find at the bottom of your daughters bed ?
GARY GLITTERS BOOTS.
What do you call a physic midget who,s just escaped from jail ?
Small medium at large .
A deaf oldman goes for a check-up at the doctors with his wife.The doctor tells him slowly, " Mr Roberts , I need a urine sample, a faeces sample and a sperm sample , please .""What did he say , dear ?" asks Mr Roberts. Mrs Roberts replies ., " He says he needs your underpants ."
........and for my finale ,
A Texas buisinessman is over in Japan for some meetings and a few rounds of golf.Hes only on the course, playing quite well and theres an attractive Japanese woman behind him.They meet at the 13th tee and she says to him :" WASUKIMA! WASUKIMA! ".
He assumes this is a congratulatory term as he reckons hes playing a good round of golf so far.
The two decide to head to the bar for a few drinks. then one thing leads to another and they go back to the mans hotel room .
During sex, she shouts , :" WASUKIMA! WASUKIMA! " again and hes quite pleased, assuming it must mean hes pretty good and shes enjoying herself.
She leaves the room the next morning and he attends a meeting with an English-speaking buisiness associate.
He tells him about the previous days escapades and the man spits out hie coffee with laughter.
"Whats up ?" asks the Texan.
"Wasukima, myfriend, means .WRONG HOLE !"
hope this has brought a smile or two to these dismal days
A pair of glasses walks into a bar , and orders a pint. The barman say , " I m not serving you. You ,re off your face ."
Whats 13in, silver and the worst thing you can find at the bottom of your daughters bed ?
GARY GLITTERS BOOTS.
What do you call a physic midget who,s just escaped from jail ?
Small medium at large .
A deaf oldman goes for a check-up at the doctors with his wife.The doctor tells him slowly, " Mr Roberts , I need a urine sample, a faeces sample and a sperm sample , please .""What did he say , dear ?" asks Mr Roberts. Mrs Roberts replies ., " He says he needs your underpants ."
........and for my finale ,
A Texas buisinessman is over in Japan for some meetings and a few rounds of golf.Hes only on the course, playing quite well and theres an attractive Japanese woman behind him.They meet at the 13th tee and she says to him :" WASUKIMA! WASUKIMA! ".
He assumes this is a congratulatory term as he reckons hes playing a good round of golf so far.
The two decide to head to the bar for a few drinks. then one thing leads to another and they go back to the mans hotel room .
During sex, she shouts , :" WASUKIMA! WASUKIMA! " again and hes quite pleased, assuming it must mean hes pretty good and shes enjoying herself.
She leaves the room the next morning and he attends a meeting with an English-speaking buisiness associate.
He tells him about the previous days escapades and the man spits out hie coffee with laughter.
"Whats up ?" asks the Texan.
"Wasukima, myfriend, means .WRONG HOLE !"
hope this has brought a smile or two to these dismal days
have some karma
