gonzogicker
Petrolheads
Subject: Genuine exerts from the files of Galway County Council Housing dept
"My bush is really overgrown around the front and my back passage has
>fungus growing in it."
>
>"He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't
>take it any more."
>
>"It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow."
>
>"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burned
>my knob off."
>
>"Their 18 year-old son is continually banging his balls against my
>fence."
>
>"I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.
>I think it was the bad wind the other night that blew them off."
>
>"My lavatory seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"
>
>"I am writing on behalf of my sink."
>
>"Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped
>and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant."
>
>"I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."
>
>"50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are
>plain filthy."
>
>"The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is
>cleared."
>
>"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
>
>"I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at
>6.00am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me."
>
>"The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is
>unsightly and dangerous."
>
>"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third
>so please send someone around to do something about it."
>
>"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please
>do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night."
>
>"Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
>wife."
>
>"I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still
>have no satisfaction."
>
>"This is to let you know that our toilet seat is broken and we can't
>get BBC2."
"My bush is really overgrown around the front and my back passage has
>fungus growing in it."
>
>"He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't
>take it any more."
>
>"It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow."
>
>"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burned
>my knob off."
>
>"Their 18 year-old son is continually banging his balls against my
>fence."
>
>"I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.
>I think it was the bad wind the other night that blew them off."
>
>"My lavatory seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"
>
>"I am writing on behalf of my sink."
>
>"Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped
>and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant."
>
>"I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."
>
>"50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are
>plain filthy."
>
>"The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is
>cleared."
>
>"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
>
>"I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at
>6.00am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me."
>
>"The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is
>unsightly and dangerous."
>
>"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third
>so please send someone around to do something about it."
>
>"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please
>do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night."
>
>"Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
>wife."
>
>"I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still
>have no satisfaction."
>
>"This is to let you know that our toilet seat is broken and we can't
>get BBC2."
