> LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHS
>
> A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
> you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
>
> She calls on little Ralphy.
>
> He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
>
> The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your
> thinking.'
>
> Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down
> the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the
> ice cream.
> Which
> one is married?'
>
> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one
> that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
>
> To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with
> the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'
>
> = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHS
> (Part 2)
>
> Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
>
> 'Why?' asks the father?
>
> 'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.
>
> 'But that's right!' says his dad.
>
> 'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
>
> 'What's the fucking difference?' asks the father.
>
> 'That's what I said!'
>
> = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = LITTLE RALPHY ON
> ENGLISH
>
> Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are
> going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> example of a multi-syllable word?'
>
> RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate.'
>
> Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.'
>
> Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'
>
> = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = LITTLE RALPHY ON
> GRAMMAR
>
> Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> to go to the toilet. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a
> piss!!'
>
> The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
> Please use
> the word 'ur-in-ate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to
> go.'
>
> Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but
> if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'
>
> = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = LITTLE RALPHY ON
> GRAMMAR (Part 2)
>
> One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the
> same sentence twice.
>
> First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father
> bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
>
> 'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little
> Michael.
>
> 'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
>
> She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on
> little RALPHY.
>
> 'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
> pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!''
>
> = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = LITTLE RALPHY ON
> GETTING OLDER
>
> Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him
> said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will
> give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
>
> Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
>
> The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
>
> Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own fucking business.
>
> A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
> you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
>
> She calls on little Ralphy.
>
> He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
>
> The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your
> thinking.'
>
> Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down
> the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the
> ice cream.
> Which
> one is married?'
>
> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one
> that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
>
> To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with
> the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'
>
> = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHS
> (Part 2)
>
> Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
>
> 'Why?' asks the father?
>
> 'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.
>
> 'But that's right!' says his dad.
>
> 'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
>
> 'What's the fucking difference?' asks the father.
>
> 'That's what I said!'
>
> = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = LITTLE RALPHY ON
> ENGLISH
>
> Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are
> going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> example of a multi-syllable word?'
>
> RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate.'
>
> Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.'
>
> Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'
>
> = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = LITTLE RALPHY ON
> GRAMMAR
>
> Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> to go to the toilet. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a
> piss!!'
>
> The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
> Please use
> the word 'ur-in-ate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to
> go.'
>
> Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but
> if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'
>
> = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = LITTLE RALPHY ON
> GRAMMAR (Part 2)
>
> One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the
> same sentence twice.
>
> First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father
> bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
>
> 'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little
> Michael.
>
> 'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
>
> She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on
> little RALPHY.
>
> 'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
> pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!''
>
> = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = LITTLE RALPHY ON
> GETTING OLDER
>
> Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him
> said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will
> give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
>
> Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
>
> The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
>
> Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own fucking business.
:lol:
