1. SYMPTOM:Your feet are wet and cold.
FAULT:You are holding your glass at an incorrect angle.
ACTION:Swivel glass so that top points towards ceiling.
2. SYMPTOM:The wall opposite you has ceiling lights on it.
FAULT:You have collapsed and are lying on your back.
ACTION:Superglue an elbow to the bar.
3. SYMPTOM Beer lacking colour and flavour.
FAULT:Empty glass.
ACTION:Find out whose round it is.
4. SYMPTOM Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT:You have missed your gob.
ACTION:Use this as an excuse to practise more drinking.
5. SYMPTOM:Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT:Bar has closed, everyone has gone home and no-one saw you lying under the pool table
ACTION:Get comfortable. They'll be opening in a few hours and you'll be ideally placed for another session.
6. SYMPTOM:Everyone looks up to you smiling and clapping.
FAULT:You are doing a strip-tease on the pool table.
ACTION
ray you have clean underwear on.
7. SYMPTOM:Ceiling moving.
FAULTaramedics are carrying you out on a stretcher.
ACTION:Ask if they have a bar at the hospital.
FAULT:You are holding your glass at an incorrect angle.
ACTION:Swivel glass so that top points towards ceiling.
2. SYMPTOM:The wall opposite you has ceiling lights on it.
FAULT:You have collapsed and are lying on your back.
ACTION:Superglue an elbow to the bar.
3. SYMPTOM Beer lacking colour and flavour.
FAULT:Empty glass.
ACTION:Find out whose round it is.
4. SYMPTOM Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT:You have missed your gob.
ACTION:Use this as an excuse to practise more drinking.
5. SYMPTOM:Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT:Bar has closed, everyone has gone home and no-one saw you lying under the pool table
ACTION:Get comfortable. They'll be opening in a few hours and you'll be ideally placed for another session.
6. SYMPTOM:Everyone looks up to you smiling and clapping.
FAULT:You are doing a strip-tease on the pool table.
ACTION
ray you have clean underwear on.7. SYMPTOM:Ceiling moving.
FAULT
aramedics are carrying you out on a stretcher.ACTION:Ask if they have a bar at the hospital.
