silverbullitt
Petrolheads
You know what i firmly believe is one of the worst feelings in the world....
When you know there is something small slightly wrong with your car , that makes it slightly less pleasurable to drive . Something , that whilst it might not be the end of the world, is certainly a niggle , and somehow takes away from the whole driving experience . Something that distracts you so much , that you concentrate so much on that one fault , it makes it impossible to truly relax and become at one with car.
It can be something so simple as a bolt in the spare wheel well in the boot , that every time you hit a slight bump , you can hear it rattle around , creating ,to your ears anyway, a cacophonous din that shakes your sanity to it's very core . And while a passenger might not even hear it , or even notice it against the background noise, you scan the road ahead looking for that one bump , that one slight imperfection in the tarmac ,that will jostle the offending article from its temporary resting place and cause that ungodly sound again .
It can come in the form of a slight pull in the steering , that makes you concentrate so hard in executing every maneuver around town lest you take your eye off the road for a split second and veer into a parked car. The same pull that can, and will , ruin the most pleasant of motorway cruises , forcing you to constantly apply a correcting force on the wheel . Reach down to change the radio station , lose concentration and you most certainly will end up heading towards the hard shoulder until you hear the stark warning from the rumble strips on the side of the road , that might annoy you but will most certainly give the missus a bit of a thrill through the seat , especially if you are running sports suspension .
Those of us who have had civics , all know the agony of a dashboard that will creak and groan and rattle itself to damnation at the slightest change in the tarmac quality , camber , or even if a westerly wind blows more than 5mph .
How many of us have chastened a front seat passenger for idly twiddling with your heater vents,flicking them up and down , and open and closed again . Them , not having a care in the world , watching the world pass them by from the passenger seat as you sit there , blood pressure rising to near fatal levels , knowing that with each careless stroke of their finger , they are scrubbing valuable molecules from the plastics, loosening the tight fit between the air vent and its holder , bringing ever closer the day where you hit a small bump and it starts to rattle .
Of course it starts off with a barely noticeable squeak , that you can barely hear over today fm . Then it gets a little more noticeable , to you anyway, until you reach the point where you start quizzing your passengers , and it usually goes some thing like this
"Did you hear that ?
What?
THAT !!!
What are ya on about ,?
That noise , how can you not hear it ?
You're cracked you are !!!"
And so it continues until it reaches a point where the vents vibrate so much , you would swear led zeppelin were playing a gig behind it .
The trouble is , that most of these niggles can be sorted with 5 minutes of your time , some super glue, duct tape , or WD40 . The only thing is , you don't fix them , because as soon as you reach your destination, you stop , and the squeaks , rattles , and sqoinks stop. Your blood pressure returns to normal , and you go about your business until you face the drive home . You start the engine and nothing. You think they might be gone , and magically all the little problems may have fixed themselves ,until about 5 minutes into the journey and your elation turns to despair again as you hit a pothole and the car near shakes itself apart .
There is a flip side though , if you do wake up some Saturday morning and come to the conclusion that enough is enough, and decide to tighten that loose screw in the door panel , and fix the rattly parcel shelf , and superglue that loose light fitting , and get your wheels tracked , to fix that loose wire in the speaker etc .
If you do all the items on your niggle list , and go for a drive , you will be treated to what can only be called driving nirvana . A heavenly feeling where by you waft over the roughest of road surfaces without a care in the world , waiting for rumble strips to appear so you can drive over them , and laugh at them without being in fear of your dashboard disintegrating .
Enjoy it though, as due to recent figures released from the CSO it has been revealed that this feeling lasts for roughly 6 minutes and 18 seconds.
After this, like a phoenix reborn from its own ashes, a new squiffle , sqoink , or rattle will make itself known, very quietly at first so you don't really notice it ... and the cycle starts afresh .
When you know there is something small slightly wrong with your car , that makes it slightly less pleasurable to drive . Something , that whilst it might not be the end of the world, is certainly a niggle , and somehow takes away from the whole driving experience . Something that distracts you so much , that you concentrate so much on that one fault , it makes it impossible to truly relax and become at one with car.
It can be something so simple as a bolt in the spare wheel well in the boot , that every time you hit a slight bump , you can hear it rattle around , creating ,to your ears anyway, a cacophonous din that shakes your sanity to it's very core . And while a passenger might not even hear it , or even notice it against the background noise, you scan the road ahead looking for that one bump , that one slight imperfection in the tarmac ,that will jostle the offending article from its temporary resting place and cause that ungodly sound again .
It can come in the form of a slight pull in the steering , that makes you concentrate so hard in executing every maneuver around town lest you take your eye off the road for a split second and veer into a parked car. The same pull that can, and will , ruin the most pleasant of motorway cruises , forcing you to constantly apply a correcting force on the wheel . Reach down to change the radio station , lose concentration and you most certainly will end up heading towards the hard shoulder until you hear the stark warning from the rumble strips on the side of the road , that might annoy you but will most certainly give the missus a bit of a thrill through the seat , especially if you are running sports suspension .
Those of us who have had civics , all know the agony of a dashboard that will creak and groan and rattle itself to damnation at the slightest change in the tarmac quality , camber , or even if a westerly wind blows more than 5mph .
How many of us have chastened a front seat passenger for idly twiddling with your heater vents,flicking them up and down , and open and closed again . Them , not having a care in the world , watching the world pass them by from the passenger seat as you sit there , blood pressure rising to near fatal levels , knowing that with each careless stroke of their finger , they are scrubbing valuable molecules from the plastics, loosening the tight fit between the air vent and its holder , bringing ever closer the day where you hit a small bump and it starts to rattle .
Of course it starts off with a barely noticeable squeak , that you can barely hear over today fm . Then it gets a little more noticeable , to you anyway, until you reach the point where you start quizzing your passengers , and it usually goes some thing like this
"Did you hear that ?
What?
THAT !!!
What are ya on about ,?
That noise , how can you not hear it ?
You're cracked you are !!!"
And so it continues until it reaches a point where the vents vibrate so much , you would swear led zeppelin were playing a gig behind it .
The trouble is , that most of these niggles can be sorted with 5 minutes of your time , some super glue, duct tape , or WD40 . The only thing is , you don't fix them , because as soon as you reach your destination, you stop , and the squeaks , rattles , and sqoinks stop. Your blood pressure returns to normal , and you go about your business until you face the drive home . You start the engine and nothing. You think they might be gone , and magically all the little problems may have fixed themselves ,until about 5 minutes into the journey and your elation turns to despair again as you hit a pothole and the car near shakes itself apart .
There is a flip side though , if you do wake up some Saturday morning and come to the conclusion that enough is enough, and decide to tighten that loose screw in the door panel , and fix the rattly parcel shelf , and superglue that loose light fitting , and get your wheels tracked , to fix that loose wire in the speaker etc .
If you do all the items on your niggle list , and go for a drive , you will be treated to what can only be called driving nirvana . A heavenly feeling where by you waft over the roughest of road surfaces without a care in the world , waiting for rumble strips to appear so you can drive over them , and laugh at them without being in fear of your dashboard disintegrating .
Enjoy it though, as due to recent figures released from the CSO it has been revealed that this feeling lasts for roughly 6 minutes and 18 seconds.
After this, like a phoenix reborn from its own ashes, a new squiffle , sqoink , or rattle will make itself known, very quietly at first so you don't really notice it ... and the cycle starts afresh .
