What's the funniest thing ??

N

Niallyboy

Petrolheads
What's the funniest thing your car has ever done........ or happened to you
will driving your car :eek7:.........................dosn't have to be your scooby

I had a mate who drove a clapped out VW Jetta , he was nearly lynched outside a Church a
few years back . There was a funreal , he was stuck in traffic , next his horn started blowing a wouldn't stop :shock2: :shock2:

I had a mrk3 escort that was fit for the dump , the terminals were loose so in our wisdom , we strapped a rock
with electrical tape (saftey first) to the top of the battery slammed down the bonnet (bent it) and hey presto it worked .
..............well kind of , It meant me and all four passengers had to syncronize; swaying left and right until we shook the car enough to make a connection to start the bitch . Problem was everytime i pulled up at ther lights she cut out :icon_biggrin: :icon_biggrin: :icon_biggrin:


NIall.
 
in a clio about 15 years ago , in reverse , thinking i was in first , head hit the windscreen as i went to take off rapidly , still get slagged over it :icon_redface: :hammerhead: :wall: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
 
Controversial one this but anyway feel free to delete if anyone is offended....many years ago I met up with a "friend with benefits" and drove to a secluded spot for some hows yer father. About 30mins in I realised i had zero interest in the poor girl so I got back into the drivers seat-bollock naked-and lit a fag for myself. So she started with the "whats wrong,am i not good enough" crap etc etc to the point where I may have replied something about a sausage and O Connell street...so she took a swing at me,knocked the rearview mirror off and knocked the fag out of my mouth and onto a *ahem* sensitive area.
 
My first legacy gt was an auto and i hadnt drove an auto till i bought that.
Took the miss and the kid into town for a spin in the new motor a week later
Parked in a multi story on the roof were she could gleam in the sun.
Anyway few hours later got back settled in turned round arm around the top of the passenger seat
No other cars so planted it and shock horror it was in fecking drive
OMG straight into the wall overlooking prob a 50 foot drop b4 i could say oh sh*t.
So with a big hole in the front bumper headed for the exit only for the security guard to call me as i left to tell me he had it on camera and it was the funniest thing he had ever seen.
He thanked me for making his day. :icon_redface:
 
LMAO, you got me lost a little at the sausage and O'Connell Street though
 
Codders said:
LMAO, you got me lost a little at the sausage and O'Connell Street though
Click to expand...

Basically, throwin' his mickey into her was like throwin' a sausage down o connell street. It wasn't going to hit the end and he wasn't going to be rubbing off any buildings along the sides on the way up the street.
 
Niallyboy said:
:multijump:............ :doh: :doh:


@B4soon ...........classy fooker , so are ye still friends :wazzup:



NIall.
Click to expand...

Actually Niall,I had another go off her after that. Haven't seen her in years now.
 
B4 soon said:
Niallyboy said:
:multijump:............ :doh: :doh:


@B4soon ...........classy fooker , so are ye still friends :wazzup:



NIall.
Click to expand...

Actually Niall,I had another go off her after that. Haven't seen her in years now.
Click to expand...

Shenanigans. I reckon you just didn't want to mess your seats.
 
Bonito said:
Codders said:
LMAO, you got me lost a little at the sausage and O'Connell Street though
Click to expand...

Basically, throwin' his mickey into her was like throwin' a sausage down o connell street. It wasn't going to hit the end and he wasn't going to be rubbing off any buildings along the sides on the way up the street.
Click to expand...

tis all clear now.. thanks for that LOL
 
JAMIE-TYPERV6 said:
:roll: :roll: :roll:

Brilliant Ross!!
Click to expand...

I dont believe I'm allowed to PM people yet, where'd you pick up your WRC wings? (fenders to the silly American) :p


and now onto my funny thing...


Not my fault:
What: 2006 or so Ford Diesel Van for 100 Acre Wood Rally:

What Happened: I was driving the rally teams support vehicle, it had a "bad shift servo." The entire time, going from service to service, each time I took the slightest curve, turning right, the van would kick into neutral above 15mph... AND... going uphill in any sort of duration above 30% throttle would cause it to slam in and out of Drive. I left funny dashed tire marks on quite a few South Missouri roads... AND also, during the second day, on the way to set up, the parking lot coordinator gets confused... And has me park in wet grass, despite my initial refusal. The 2WD van sinks several inches and it takes two large redneck trucks to pull me out.

Slightly my fault:

What: 1981 Chevy Chevette [Like a RWD Cavalier] I only paid $50 US for it.

What Happened: It was notorious for letting the carb stick while going down the road for any length of time, so one would have to put it into Neutral and give it a few flicks of the throttle, it'd clear its throat and then everything is all good... I was doing 65mph one day, it stuck.. And I slip it into 'N' and give it a few stabs at the skinny pedal, it not only revs slowly, but smoke is rolling out of the back of the car like it's on fire, especially when I rev it... I look down and see it's in REVERSE! Somehow the little car's gearbox didn't explode! I later found out the safety mechanism that keeps it from being bonked into R from the N position is worn out. Being 15, my friends and I repeated the action several times, surprisingly enough never making any part of the car's driveline fail!!


Completely my fault:

What: 1981 Chevy Citation [paid $75 USD]

What Happened: We were jumping this junk car over a levee on my family's land... FWD cars dont fly very well, they tend to "nose-in." After a fairly poor landing, we decide to give the jump a shot in reverse... About 35mph in reverse, I launch the car into the air, but RIGHT before we leave the ground, I snag a tree root or something similarly immovable... It wrenches the steering wheel and we stray from our original flight path into a barbed-wire fence, thankfully the four run-posts were rotten 80 year old wooden posts that snap off at the ground and the one 12" thick corner post is of similar age, the bottom two feet become splinters... The bad part was not that I had to explain how the posts were broken, nor the repairs... *This is common on a farm* But the fact the fence was MISSING for 25-30 feet and my car was stuck on another fence post... *We kept going*


Another incident: I just paid $300 for a 1981 Dodge Omni [Similar to Mk1 Golf] And instead of going straight home, I took this other road that nobody lives on... I hadn't forgotten about the old arched bridge, but I forgot that the road didn't actually 'Y' off, more like it came to a bent 'T'... I passed my friend in his truck with a big wave and then nailed the throttle... Hitting the bridge at about 50mph was no biggie, I caught plenty of air before, but I then saw (to much dismay) I was going to land in the middle of the T... *this is all gravel- mind you* and the car belly-flops (all lights go off) and rebounds 5' in the air, clearing a fence. Thankfully the farmer had only wired a part of his field, we just towed my car out through a gap and re-attached the battery cable and installed a new lower radiator hose and it was good to go!

I have more adventures, but I can post them later :p
 
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