council complaint letters

johnl

Middle Lane Hogs
The following are genuine extracts from council complaints letters:

My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it

Its the dogs mess I find hard to swallow

I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off

Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls off my fence

My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

50% of the walls are damp,50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy

The toilet is blocked and we cant bath the children until it is cleared

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces

The man next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous

I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night

Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife
 
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