Mick Spec C
New member
A few more of my "best Jokes" for the Bank Holiday Monday
Q:What do you call a Frenchman in sandles?
A
hillipe Filop
Q:what do people with two left feet wear in the summer ?
A:Flip Flips !
Q:What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A Brick
[size=12pt]The Biscuit Joke [/size]
Two biscuits walking down the road, one says to the other
"Where do you live?"
The which the other replies
"I'm not telling you, you'll nick my washing."
Q:What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot
two birds sitting on a perch, one says to the other 'can you smell fish'?
two fish in a tank, one says to the other 'can you drive this thing?'
Q:What should you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?
A :Go for the juggler
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a
family in Egypt and is named Amahl while the other goes to a family in
Spain and is named Juan. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
mother and upon receiving the picture she tells her husband she wishes she
also had a picture of Amahl.
"But they're twins," says her husband, "If you've seen Juan you've seen Amahl.
Q: whats brown and sticky??????
A: "a stick!"
:hang: :hang:
Q:What do you call a Frenchman in sandles?
A
hillipe FilopQ:what do people with two left feet wear in the summer ?
A:Flip Flips !
Q:What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A Brick
[size=12pt]The Biscuit Joke [/size]
Two biscuits walking down the road, one says to the other
"Where do you live?"
The which the other replies
"I'm not telling you, you'll nick my washing."
Q:What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot
two birds sitting on a perch, one says to the other 'can you smell fish'?
two fish in a tank, one says to the other 'can you drive this thing?'
Q:What should you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?
A :Go for the juggler
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a
family in Egypt and is named Amahl while the other goes to a family in
Spain and is named Juan. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
mother and upon receiving the picture she tells her husband she wishes she
also had a picture of Amahl.
"But they're twins," says her husband, "If you've seen Juan you've seen Amahl.
Q: whats brown and sticky??????
A: "a stick!"
:hang:
:hang:
OP
OP
Norris!
Guest
two fish in a tank, one says to the other 'can you drive this thing?
THATS GIFT!!!!!!!!!
check this out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su959eEFnnA
THATS GIFT!!!!!!!!!
check this out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su959eEFnnA
OP
OP
Norris!
Guest
Hey, hey, hey ,hey
Ohhh...
Won't you come see about me?
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on
Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby
Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me
Will you stand above me?
Look my way, never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down
Will you recognise me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ohhhh.....
Don't you try to pretend
It's my feeling we'll win in the end
I won't harm you or touch your defenses
Vanity and security
Don't you forget about me
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Going to take you apart
I'll put us back together at heart, baby
Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
When you walk away
Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on - call my name
Will you all my name?
I say!
La la la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la
la la la la la etc . . .
Ohhh...
Won't you come see about me?
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on
Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby
Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me
Will you stand above me?
Look my way, never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down
Will you recognise me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ohhhh.....
Don't you try to pretend
It's my feeling we'll win in the end
I won't harm you or touch your defenses
Vanity and security
Don't you forget about me
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Going to take you apart
I'll put us back together at heart, baby
Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
When you walk away
Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on - call my name
Will you all my name?
I say!
La la la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la
la la la la la etc . . .
555-Scooby
Petrolheads
a good song for simple minded peopleMick Spec C
New member
OP
OP
Norris!
Guest
i have that in my log tables!!
Mick Spec C
New member
[quote author=Norris! link=topic=2000.msg23751#msg23751 date=1181382377]
i have that in my log tables!!
[/quote]
Is that a table made from logs
i have that in my log tables!!
[/quote]
Is that a table made from logs
OP
OP
Norris!
Guest
Mick Spec C
New member
[size=50pt]+ [/size]
[size=50pt]= [/size]
[move]
[/move]
OP
OP
Norris!
Guest
:worship:
Mick Spec C
New member
Re: --- RANDOMONIUM ---
Not got the link going
Not got the link going
OP
OP
Norris!
Guest
still cant see anything?? logwise?
Mick Spec C
New member
Some more of my "best jokes"
Q what goes ooooooooooooo?
A: a cow with no lips
The Dog Joke
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?"
"Well", said the vet, "Let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes.
"Well," Says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" said the man.
"No, because he's fookin heavy," said the vet.
The Snail Joke
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, theres a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says What the hell was that all about?"
Q: what do you do if you see a fire man?
A: put it out man
Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steves body, Bob and Jeff realize theyll have to inform his wife. Bob says hes good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job.
After two hours he returns carrying a six-pack of beer. So did you tell her? asks Jeff.
Yep, replies Bob.
Say, where did you get the six-pack?
She gave it to me.
What? exclaims Jeff. You just told her that her husband died and she gave you a six-pack?
Sure, Bob says.
Why? asks Jeff.
Well, Bob continues, when she answered the door, I asked her whether she was Steves widow. Widow, she said, no, no, youre mistaken. Im not a widow.
So I said, Ill bet you a six-pack you are!
Q: Whats blueish and sings?
A: Elvis Purpely
The Duck Joke
Two ducks walking down the road.
One says "Quack"
The other says "I was going to say that ya fooker"
:hang:
Q what goes ooooooooooooo?
A: a cow with no lips
The Dog Joke
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?"
"Well", said the vet, "Let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes.
"Well," Says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" said the man.
"No, because he's fookin heavy," said the vet.
The Snail Joke
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, theres a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says What the hell was that all about?"
Q: what do you do if you see a fire man?
A: put it out man
Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steves body, Bob and Jeff realize theyll have to inform his wife. Bob says hes good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job.
After two hours he returns carrying a six-pack of beer. So did you tell her? asks Jeff.
Yep, replies Bob.
Say, where did you get the six-pack?
She gave it to me.
What? exclaims Jeff. You just told her that her husband died and she gave you a six-pack?
Sure, Bob says.
Why? asks Jeff.
Well, Bob continues, when she answered the door, I asked her whether she was Steves widow. Widow, she said, no, no, youre mistaken. Im not a widow.
So I said, Ill bet you a six-pack you are!
Q: Whats blueish and sings?
A: Elvis Purpely
The Duck Joke
Two ducks walking down the road.
One says "Quack"
The other says "I was going to say that ya fooker"
:hang:
S
six spoke clive
Guest
why did sally fall off the swing?
cause she got no arms!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then wait a while and :guinness: :guinness: :cheers: :cheers: :salute: :salute: :drunk: :drunk:
who pushed jonny off the cliff?
well it certainly wasnt sally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cause she got no arms!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then wait a while and :guinness: :guinness: :cheers: :cheers: :salute: :salute: :drunk: :drunk:
who pushed jonny off the cliff?
well it certainly wasnt sally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
davelegacy
Member Number 16
was the juan and asif joke on here??